The human heart does not have the reputation of being able to do such calculations in a cool way by bypassing all kinds of emotions. Yet, for a moment, I think he's really capable of it. So what are the characteristics of a person when it comes to choosing a mate?
Arguably the most desirable trait would be prudence. Because prudence is the so-called 'Big Five' personality traits or personality traits that are easily measurable and stable (the other four are extroversion, openness, flexibility and emotional stability).
Researchers Brittany Solomon and Joshua Jackson, after analyzing data from more than 4,500 married people, found that only consideration of the five major personality traits had a significant effect on their wife's career satisfaction, earnings and promotion prospects. Wisdom refers to the ability of a person to make decisions or to act accordingly, considering the good and the bad, the misery and the happiness.
Whether a man is a woman or a man, if he is loyal, tidy and hardworking, it is easy for him to please his partner or keep the relationship right. Why? Because he is more involved in household chores. Not only that, she can also be her partner's role model.
However, no matter how much evidence of prudence is available, its effects can be easily measured. Writing about his research in the Harvard Business Review, Andrew O'Connell writes that if a person's spouse is prudent, an ideal deviation from that prudence would increase that person's annual income by 4,000.
The second characteristic desired from the spouse is the assurance of security. This problem comes from attachment theory. At first, it was thought that the only thing that mattered was understanding the child's relationship with the parents. But psychologists are increasingly realizing that a 'safe foundation' is also important in adult relationships. ‘Secure Base’ is a life partner that can be relied upon, needs help in any need and encourages new work.
When someone’s career is about to collapse like a house of cards, a ‘safe base’ partner will show them empathy and encourage them to keep trying.
INSID Professor Jennifer Petriglieri, in her book Couples That Work, developed the theory called "Loving Kick" after interviewing 113 dual-career couples (who manage their families equally and run their own careers at the same time).
Even the word 'profit' may not seem very romantic to many. But speaking to couples of all classes, professions, ages and nationalities, Petriglieri confirmed that such a relationship would allow them to go through any ups and downs in their careers; Moving to a new town or getting rid of complications after delivery, or having a hard time in middle age or after retirement.
However, Petriglieri warns his readers of the exact opposite, "A mutually secure-based relationship does not make life easier or simpler. Unusually, it makes life more challenging. When we find a secure foundation in our wife, we The tendency is to take risks and try new things. It may not make life easy, but it makes life interesting. "
Of the many couples, however, only one is consistently in charge of the 'base'. The situation of such unequal relationship is a lot like 'smart outside, Sadarghat inside'. So such marriages are good as long as no one is dissatisfied with their role. However, after a certain period of time, it is normal for someone's anger, resentment and dissatisfaction to erupt.
However, Solomon's research shows that the tendency of a spouse to agree to something does not directly affect the other's earnings, but it is quite dangerous to marry someone who does not want to give up easily. You may be wondering, 'Why would I marry someone who is flexible, not willing to accept anything easily?' The answer is: because such people are more likely to be determined, confident and competitive.
It's important. Flexible people usually make less money than inflexible people. It is also reflected in literature. There's a saying, 'Nice guys last!' Scholars, however, are still searching for the cause. One hypothesis about men is that if they are polite, sensitive and kind, it does not fit the conventional gender norm. So such men cannot improve in the workplace. They have to be satisfied with low pay. But even if women have a flexible mindset, they do not have to stand in the way. At least never as severe punishment as men!
But another study by Brittany Solomon and her team found that inflexible married men earn more than similar unmarried men. Solomon and his colleagues speculate that the reason behind this is that hard married men earn more because they are not more competitive at work but spend less time on household chores and childcare and more time and labor to fulfill their professional ambitions. . Can invest.
Now let's come to the issue of husband-wife conflict over income. Many studies have found that wives who earn more than their husbands are more likely to divorce.
But you don't have to think too much about it. Economic independence is always a matter of celebration. If a woman feels that her marriage is not going well, and she has financial means to support herself, it is better for her to get out of that bitter relationship.
Research has also shown that in marriages where the wife's income is higher than the husband's, if the husband does most of the housework himself, there is no risk of easy divorce. So husbands who are interested in maintaining a low-income relationship with their wives can keep this in mind!
But yes, although these studies may seem overwhelming overall, are they really effective in a person's life? Does anyone want to 'fix' his wife as he wishes? Or choose someone 'good' outside of the current relationship? Probably not. As scholar Beth Livingston puts it, "couples do not always act as" logical "from the economic point of view of family bargaining."
But even then, miraculously those whose spouses are discreet, reliable, and not too strict may still feel lucky!
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